Maybe it was meant to be

Let me tell you, this is not the column I thought I’d be writing. Not that I had a concrete idea in mind — I’ve been mulling over this for years, plural — but more that I imagined eventually finding a pithy way to encapsulate all of the excitement, nervousness and nostalgia that I thought I’d be feeling.

I felt all of that at the beginning of the semester. I hit the ground running, filling my schedule with classes I’d postponed for years and taking on projects I finally felt confident working on. I planned to hang out with as many people as possible, vowing not to waste any of my time.

Things were going great, until the pandemic hit the United States. Within a matter of days, I found myself back at home, scrambling to virtually recreate the final two months of my very last semester.

Against my better judgment, I held on to a tiny shred of hope that I’d get to graduate with people whom I might not see in the same place for a while. More than anything, I wanted my parents to see me cross that stage, undeniable proof that everything they had poured into me was worth it.

But eventually, I had to accept it: Graduation was canceled.

My mom’s reaction was to say that things happen for a reason, an adage I usually cling to for support. If my plans ever fell apart, she’d say it wasn’t meant to be, that something better was just around the corner.

But I found it hard to believe that canceling graduation was in the cards. Of all the things I’d expected from college, graduation was a given — why else had I worked so hard all these years?

I’m chuckling to myself as I write this. It took eight weeks of nothing but pondering for me to realize that none of what I’ve learned in college begins or ends with turning a tassel.

I didn’t think I’d be an engineer. Everyone and their mother thought I was slated for a career in law or something similar, thanks to my penchant for writing. What possessed me to study something so far out of my comfort zone, I have no idea.

But I’m glad I stumbled my way through my major — along with gaining the confidence to tackle any problem head-on, I got to experience the spirit of innovation that flourishes on the north side of campus. I was also lucky enough to find some of the kindest people I’ve ever known in my lab partners and project teammates, people who whittled away at my raging impostor syndrome over time.

Was any of it easy? Nope. But was I meant to be an engineer? Perhaps.

On the flip side, I definitely wanted to join The Daily Californian. I wasn’t expecting it to be nearly as hardcore when I entered that info session — my heart almost jumped out of my chest during the news test, I was so nervous — but I was amazed to find a community of people who were so dedicated to journalism.

Comfortable with reporting from the sidelines and terrified of publicizing my point of view, I thought I’d spend my college career in the news department. But one semester, I found myself sitting on the editorial board, surprised at how much I liked discussing my own opinions — enough to want to continue editorializing for several more semesters.

I guess things do have a funny way of working out.

So yes, the ceremony is canceled, and I will be graduating from the comfort of my bed. But maybe that was meant to be: Quarantine gave me time to sleep — an elusive commodity at UC Berkeley — and it gave me something to write about for this column. A small win, if there ever was one.

In all seriousness, I believe that graduating during a pandemic has an added significance to it. Maybe it’s what convinces some of my peers that graduate school is (or isn’t) the path for them. Maybe it’s what inspires new grads to pursue work that reduces the ever-growing inequality in this country. Maybe it’s what pushes future-TBD folks like myself to think about how to put what we’ve learned in college to good use.

I do wonder what’s to come around the corner for us as a society. I’m hopeful that the lessons we take from living through a global pandemic make us stronger.

That’s about as much reflection as I can muster, so I’ll sign off with a few thank-you’s:

To Sakura, the best editor I’ve ever had and an even better friend. To Frankie, for your constant, fierce support. To Malini, for your wise advice and enduring friendship. To Annalise, Maisy, Caroline, Chantelle and Rina, for being some of the coolest women I’ve ever known. To Madeleine and Simmy, for keeping the opinion department running so very smoothly. To Nick, for making me laugh throughout it all.

To Conlon, Darius, Colin, Anoushka, LiMing and Jonathan, without whom I really would not be getting my degree. To Chakshu, my literal day one and future lawyer. To Veena and Aspen, for making Berkeley feel like home. To Manu, for the pep talks, the adventures and everything in between.

To Rohini, my golden-hearted baby sister, whose FaceTime calls always made me smile. To Raaghav, a kid with a future so bright, I have to wear shades.

And last but most certainly not the least, to my mom and dad, for giving me my education, the greatest gift of all. I love you, and I hope I’ve made you proud.

See you all at commencement, virtual or otherwise!